Do you ever know you want to say something but you’re not sure how to say it? That’s where I’m at right now, so please bear with me.
On January 21, 2021, my sweet Grandma Una passed away. Grandma never met a person she couldn’t be nice to (at least not that she let us know of) and never came across a sewing project that she shouldn’t conquer. From blankets to potholders or doll clothes to full-sized patchwork dresses, Grandma Una was the Michelangelo of sewing (or perhaps the MacGyver…). I made the arrangements that I needed to and headed on my way to be with family.
The day before the funeral, I headed to the funeral home to help my sister do Grandma’s hair. As strange as it may sound, I wanted to be there to support my sister but also get my last few moments with Grandma. My mom and I met my sister Natalie, my Aunt Emily, and my cousin Kelsey. Once the funeral home was ready for us, they brought us to a room where Grandma was. Natalie and I took a moment to breathe through impending tears along with everyone else. The funeral director showed us the cart that held all their beauty supplies and encouraged Natalie to use anything she needed that she may not have brought. He then went on to let us know the supplies were there to do Grandma’s makeup. We all looked at each other because that was not something that had been talked about or planned for. My mom, being the “helper” that she is volunteered me and Natalie. Natalie looked at me and said, “I’m doing her hair so you can do her makeup.” Sisters. Am I right? I waited for the panic to set in but it didn’t. I thought I could do it. At least, I hoped I could. I could always use Google for help, right?
Before we went any further, the funeral director asked us if we’d like to start with a prayer. Again, my mom volunteered me. I can’t tell you what I said, but I can tell you that I meant every word.
Aunt Emily and Kelsey dressed Grandma for the very last time in her beautiful white dress. A beautiful white dress that was, of course, one of her creations. Once she was dressed, we went to her to take in the moment. I looked down at her little form and saw the pockets on her dress. Think me silly if you will but they were the most beautiful pockets I’d ever seen. Pockets that Aunt Emily told me Grandma was very proud of. They looked like a bloomed flower or even a little pocket of sunshine. Made with love.
Natalie got started with Grandma’s hair. Kelsey and Aunt Emily helped with some direction. I just hovered and started to look through the makeup for the shades to use on Grandma. Here’s the thing: I don’t think I EVER saw Grandma wear makeup. I knew whatever I did had to be very simple. However, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen funeral home makeup but it’s full of wretched orange hues. As I looked, I uttered a silent prayer for help and to not mess this up. I was just getting ready to say I was making a Walmart run for makeup when I saw a very pretty burgundy that could be applied very lightly. The perfect hue.
After helping Natalie finish adding some fluff to Grandma’s hair, she stepped back and let me help Grandma. I applied some soft color to Grandma’s lips and a light blush to her cheeks. Simple just how Grandma liked things. While we worked, Aunt Emily told us stories about Grandma that we had never heard before. All the details bringing a smile to our faces and reaffirming what we always knew, Grandma was an amazing angel of a woman.
Let’s be real. I am not exactly skilled as a makeup artist. I do okay as a regular artist and kept my fingers crossed those skills would see me through. As I was working, I realized something. No brushstroke was going to change the way she was seen. No blending was going to change the way she was loved. Grandma was already a masterpiece.
Once finished, I stepped back and joined Natalie. There was nothing to do but put our arms around each other. Kelsey joined us and made it an even better hug. An even better moment. This was exactly what Grandma would want – love from us to each other.
I’m sure you’re sitting there reading this getting weirded out or even nervous on my behalf, but I’ve got to tell you, it was a special opportunity that I will cherish. Providing service for Grandma was the most natural thing I could do. Being there allowed me some last moments with a woman who loved her family and her God with unassuming strength and fierceness. There is a peacefulness in sharing those last possible moments with someone you love.
I meant it when I said Grandma was a masterpiece. A life, a woman of outstanding artistry, skill and workmanship. She approached all aspects of her life with the care and attention to detail that she showed in her beautiful pockets. Spending that last bit of time with her helped my heart. It reminded me of the important things that I have forgotten. It reminded me to put greater emphasis on my family. It reminded me to put more trust in God.
I took a picture of one of her pockets. They are the perfect summation of the example I need to follow. I want to follow Grandma’s example and put as much love and care and detail in my work, in my relationships, in my life, and in my spirituality that she did. When I lose my way, I want to think of the hands that so willing cared for others, so effortlessly loved others. The gentle hands that fit so perfectly in those beautiful, little pockets.
Dandelion Max 